Steamy Thursday Morning
Extinction & the First Grade

Dead President Replaces Bush as 2004 GOP Presidential Candidate!

Reagan Returns!

Ronald Reagan
Dead men
gather no moss.
Vistors the the Bush 2004 campaign web site (via) were astonished to discover that their candidate is to be replaced on the ballot by dead President Reagan -- this coming on the heels of Reagan replacing Vice President Cheney (via) on the ticket. (Cheney remains in an undisclosed location and the Bush Reagan campaign maintains he was not eaten by the zombie corpse.) The move comes at a time when President Bush's approval ratings have been hitting all-time lows under pressure from the Abu Ghraib torture scandal. The Onion reports that the recently deceased president is to be honored with a $5,000-a-head funeral. The campaign is also marketing a wide variety of tie-in rights.

Meanwhile, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan today called for the deployment of an advance team in Sudan to prepare for a future United Nations peacekeeping mission and denied rumors that he plans to step down in favor of the dead president.

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