Vistors the the
Bush 2004 campaign web site (
via) were astonished to discover that their candidate is to be replaced on the ballot by dead President Reagan -- this coming on the heels of
Reagan replacing Vice President Cheney (
via) on the ticket. (Cheney remains in an undisclosed location and the
Bush Reagan campaign maintains he was not eaten by the zombie corpse.) The move comes at a time when President Bush's approval ratings have been hitting all-time lows under pressure from the Abu Ghraib torture scandal.
The Onion reports that the recently deceased president is to be honored with a $5,000-a-head funeral. The campaign is also marketing a wide variety of
tie-in rights.
Meanwhile, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan today called for the deployment of an advance team in Sudan to prepare for a future United Nations peacekeeping mission and denied rumors that he plans to step down in favor of the dead president.
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