Seems to me like a good opening for a Philip K. Dick novel or the next Matrix sequel. In the novel, I buy the pills and take them, and then reality becomes very strange indeed!
Give me one reason I shouldn't fire you? You 've been lazy, done crap all, and yes done nothing much of anything lately. Why do I keep you employeed here? Sometimes I wonder. You'd better change your attitude and get to work. Maybe it's your life outside of work, I am not sure, but smarten up. I suggest you start taking something to help you concentrate more and start eating right. I am telling everyone that is on the cutting board to start taking these supplements. I know these work because I have have used them on a few of the others over the past few years. Take them, they work. Otherwise you'd better focus a hell of alot more or you'll be looking for a new job fast. Get the the stuff from the website below. We'll subsidize your cost with a receipt. Yes I am giving you the stuff free when you purchase. If you don't send in a receipt to payroll in the next week then I will have my eye on your performance from now on. Take my advice or leave it, up to you but you'd better start doing things right. . . . Holidays or not, You'd better start doing your job or you won't have one soon. Regards.
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all